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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
When driving anything that is under 100bhp dont put a big exhaust and alloys on it because it looks daft and will be even slower than b4.

for those liviing in windy area's......try walking backwards everywhere, It will make it feel less windy !

whats your top tip?
 

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Save a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam. They
will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty pence.

Suck the eyes from attacking zombies using a Black & Decker
"Dustbuster." The zombies will then wander aimlessly and can be
dispatched by the more usual methods at a more leisurely pace.

Create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping your
chin into a bowl of iron filings

X-Files fans. Create the effect of being abducted by aliens by
drinking two bottles of vodka. You'll invariably wake up in a strange
place the following morning, having had your memory mysteriously
"erased."

A hedgehog trained to scuttle up and down the table from guest to
guest makes an unusual mobile cheese and pineapple cube nibble
dispenser at cocktail parties

Domestos is an ideal substitute for Blue Curaco, and far less pricey.
It gives any cocktail a bit of "oomph."

Whilst in bed protect yourself from vampires and werewolves by hiding
under the covers.

Make cheap but effective baby rattles by gluing a lollipop stick to an
empty matchbox, then filling it with ten woodlice.

A length of plastic drainpipe with a roller skate at each end makes an ideal "car" for snakes.Minor skin grafts can be performed on pigs by covering any cuts and grazes with thin strips of bacon. PMSLCyclists. Next time you're out on your bike take a tin bath and about 4 or 5 gallons of water in plastic containers. In the event of a flat tire this will help you locate any punctures you may have Pop a few tea bags in your hot water tank and you can make a hot cuppa anytime by just turning on the tap Record the sound of your wife having an orgasm, and then listen to the tape through headphones next time you make love. That way you can have
sex without waking her up. Why pay the earth for expensive jigsaws? Just take a bag of frozen chips from the freezer and try piercing together potatoes Save time when crossing a one-way street by only looking in the
direction of oncoming traffic.
D. Rogers, Hemel Hempstead.

When crossing a one-way street always look in BOTH directions in case
a large, blue furniture removal lorry is reversing the wrong way up
the road.
D. Rogers Hemel, Hempstead General Infirmary.
 

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Stop your child from choking on ice cubes by pouring a kettle of boiling water down their throat.

Keep your milkman on his toes by hiding your empties in different parts of your garden.
 

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dont walk on frozen water, or unfrozen water [^o)]

hmmmmmmmmmm

some good ones aboveLOL
 

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Hers a good one.....
Dont waste money on expensive mods to make your car go faster and look better.Save the money and buy yourself
a better looking faster car !!! [;)]

Ok ill get my coat....
 

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The best cure for sea sickness is to sit under a tree.
i have tried and tried, but i really dont get it [^o)]
 

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If your sat under a tree your not at sea, there for not sea sick.....
hahahahaha, i seeeeeeeeeee, im sooooooo dumb [:p]

thats a good one hehe
 
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