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Tell us a funny school story

5K views 44 replies 34 participants last post by  nickbrapp 
#1 ·
Lets brighten it up & tell some stories of our school days.

I was sat in geography & being 14yr old you were always messing about, anyway my mates got the teacher in front of him leaning over looking at his work, & my mates resting his chin on his fists, as you do, at that point I thought it would be funny to take my compass & jab him in the elbow, the shock caused him to punch out & hit the teacher in the jaw.

This resulted in him grabbing me by my hair & ripping me over the desk.

That got me the cane & a weeks detension

Thats what school in 1984 was about....................

I still wet myself when ever I think about it [:D]
 
#2 ·
Probably 1982 for me, third year of a boys secondary school. New young, pneumatic geography teacher called Miss Gascoyne had the whole class hot under the collar ? couldn?t walk down the school drive without catcalls etc.

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She seemed quite demure until someone brought in a copy of Back Street Heroes, with her in the centre spread (literally!) proudly astride a chopper!

<o:p> </o:p>

After that the catcalls stopped and were replaced by kids leaning out of windows going ?Waaaah-waaaaaaahhhhh- waaaaaaarrrrrp!?

<o:p> </o:p>

She didn?t stay long after that.[:(]
 
#3 ·
I was in a physics class when I was about 14 and was chatting to my friend whilst the teacher was going on and on and on about mass and gravity and other stuff.. Eventually, the teacher stops talking at shouts at me, telling me to come to the front of the class.

Thinking he'd embarass me, he asks me what has has been talking about, before turning to look smugly at the class in " I'm gonna make this kid look like an idiot " kinda way.

Unfortunately for him, I then repeat ( word for word ) his last 3 or 4 minutes worth of lesson - and got a round of applause from my friends.

And the teacher, who's now gone bright red says " well atleast make it look like you're paying attention. Get back to your seat "

One nil, my friend.
 
#4 ·
I wouldnt know where to start or end with this topic.

The most trouble we gave was to the physics teacher Mr Hughes...fresh from uni..poor bloke.

I remember the maths & english tower which was 5 stories high. We used to throw tables and chairs out the top windows and watch them get stuck in the grass bank below.

Then one lunch time decided to see how long you could hang out the window by your arms. For a laugh we shut all the windows on this kid and hes still hanging. The teacher comes in and sits down. In the end we let this kid in ( before he falls to his death ) and watch the teachers face as he climbs in from a 60 foot drop....

HAHAHAHA

Oh and now this kid is a BBC ONE news reporter on TV every day/night....( no names )
 
#5 ·
I've been thinking & nothing really springs to mind about school that wasn't a "you had to be there" situation so I'm going to cheat & say a school-related story my dad told me about him.

When he was a kid, a few of his mates were at his house & 1 of them said he really didn't want to go to school the next day, my dad's solution was to make him this concoction to drink, so he could go home, tell his mum he felt sick, throw up & then she'd let him stay off school the next day. His mate agreed this was a good idea so my dad threw all kinds together (nothing with any chemicals in that you'd expect to do damage like toilet cleaner or anything like that though), mixed it up, put it in a glass & his mate drank the lot before running home for the 2nd part of the plan.

My dad thought nothing of it until the next thing he knows an ambulance pulls up outside his mates house which his mate is then carted into on a stretcher. He was fine but he ended up staying in hospital for ages while they were trying to figure out why his body was producing such high levels of the things he'd actually drank. If he'd admitted it he probably would never have gone to hospital but he was petrified of his finding out that he'd done it on purpose to stay off school so he denied everything. Meanwhile my dad wasn't sleeping at night because he was worried silly that his mate was on his deathbed because of him
 
#7 ·
We put a up turned drawing pin on the teachers seat. Mr. King was our English teacher and he was going to get it.

When he walked in he sat his fat @rse straight down on it and did not even flinch. We where all shocked and was wondering what had happened and maybe it had fallen on the floor.

When he got up to write on the blackboard, we could see the drawing pin stuck to his Arse...the point of the pin had gone right between his @rse cheeks

What are the chances of that eh?
 
#8 ·
I remember being 14,(1996) waiting outside the sports hall with our class (about 40 of us) for the teacher to turn up...two guys starting lifting another guy into the air as high as they could to hit his head on the ceiling, just ar$$ing about...but the ceiling outside the sports hall was a low false ceiling, and they lifted him a bit high and fast, putting him through the plasterboard to about waist height into the void above. Everyone was in tears of laughter, guy who went through dusted himself off, and we all tried to pretend nothing had happened as the teacher arrived..he stood there for a good two minutes wondering why everyone was trying to stiffle laughter, looking from one to the other but thankfully he never looked up...at the 6ft hole in the ceiling.?
?
 
#9 ·
Jimmy Nichols... he looked like super mario, and was an awesome mathematician, however he shouldnt have been teaching teeange lads..

we turned all the desks round to face the back of the room before the lesson, set the metal bin on fire and he burnt his hands picking it up, removed the spindle from the door handle, then whenn the lesson ended half the class legged it through the wind he was too fat too, then the lower sets had a teacher that went the pub (or photocopier) during lessons wo we used to do room-raids and kidnap people randomly from Jimmys lessons...

hid his briefcase in the false ceiling whilst he was drawing on the board, basicall the front row man stole it, and passed it back 2 guys managed to get a ceiling tile out and briefcase up whils the rest of the class covered him someone got expelled for that.

Then there was mr davies the chemistry teacher, used to steal his chalk, and drop it in all the acids before the lesson, then hammer the lids on with a doc-marten, halfway through the lesson a cork and acid would shoot up in the air, also he used to walk round the class, and one guy always cut the top of a biro or ink-cartridge and dump it in this guys pocket... really risky but he was never evere caught.

Or fill a drwa with shredded paper and set it on fire close the draw and mid experiment the room would be filling with smoke and hed frantically cheak everyones experiments .....

How the flip we got away with it I will never ever know, when I think back now it was totally evil
 
#10 ·
When I was 14 the art class was taken by a woman, she'd have been in her mid 20's at the time. The desks were set up in a rectangular shape and we all threw our school bags into the middle. There was about 6 feet between the two longest lines of desks. I was sat at the end desk resting my head on my arms looking at the teacher walking along on the inside of the desks checking our work.

As she stepped over a pile of school bags I saw right up her skirt, she wasn't wearing any knickers [:D]

Needless to say I never looked at Miss in the same light again, little minx ggrrrrrrr [:p]
 
#11 ·
From a teacher's point of view -

A few years ago I was teaching some 5 and six year olds. We were talking about fruit and veg and I was asking them to tell me some fruit and veg.

It was going really quickly with names of fruit and veg coming from all over the place. Then a this girl who I knew was a bit simple shot her hand up in the air, I asked her and said "Corn Flakes"

I ended up with my head behind a book, shaking with laughter. She thought she'd made me cry!
 
#12 ·
There was a girl at school that everyone took the mick out of because she was a bit "backward". One lunchtime I told her to pull her knickers down and she did. I went running round the corner to the dinnerlady to grass her up and she got a rollocking[:D]

Another time (not really funny though) I took my Lolo Ball to school and made one of my friends go up some steps on it. She fell off and broke her leg [:S]
 
#14 ·
We put a up turned drawing pin on the teachers seat. Mr. King was our English teacher and he was going to get it.

When he walked in he sat his fat @rse straight down on it and did not even flinch. We where all shocked and was wondering what had happened and maybe it had fallen on the floor.

When he got up to write on the blackboard, we could see the drawing pin stuck to his Arse...the point of the pin had gone right between his @rse cheeks

What are the chances of that eh?
I know i am digging up an old thread, but this really made me laugh..................
 
#15 ·
I was in a Science lesson once, first class of the day, for some reason we had to get into groups which meant moving from the desk that we were normally at. After a bit into the lesson I could smell dog pooh and soon realised that it was coming from the bottom of my shoe! Obviously I didn't want to be pooh shoe boy so I wiped it on the bag that was under the desk (we all kept our bags under the desk), shortly after everyone could smell the smell and a commotion was made before the teacher got involved. She quickly realised it was the bag and the guy who's bag it was had to remove it and get it washed in the toilets as everyone was laughing at his unfortunate situation, luckily he wasn't smart enough to realised where it had come from and was known as 'sh!t bag' for the rest of school!

We had a history teacher that was rubbish at controlling us and would just send people out of the room, there'd usually be at least one every lesson. One lesson we made it our aim to try and get as many people out in the corridor as possible. Half the class had been sent out for misbehaviour before she realised what we were doing! We used to make her life hell every lesson, it was like having a permant support teacher she was that lame, I feel a little bad now that I've 'grown up' though!
 
#16 ·
I remember one french teacher who we gave a nervous breakdown too. Before she arrived at the lesson we:

Closed all the blinds, drew ALL over the blackboard, unplugged any electrical appliance we could find, hid her stuff in the filing cabinet, hid text books and ohp slides and all sat facing away from the blackboard.

She was so angry when got to the class, she was apoplectic with rage, literally shaking with anger, so so funny :)
 
#17 ·
Haha, sounds like you went to my school - we also gave a French teacher a nervous breakdown.

We used to see how many times we could jump out the window and come back through the door without her noticing, but what pushed her over the edge was when some kids in another class unscrewed the top of the blackboard and it fell on her head - too far? [:^)]
 
#18 ·
Back in the early eight?s in chemistry lesson learning about magnesium ribbon (I think that?s what its called ) teacher asks a mate to put some in this glass bowl of water about 2 foot across so he only hoys the whole lot in never seen so many people run so fast in my life and get wet <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:eek:ffice" /><o:p></o:p>

Nicked the French teachers whisky one day and four of us got well served in the dinner hour <o:p></o:p>

Used to watch the gym mistress and gym master at it at lunch time in his office (boys will be Boys)<o:p></o:p>

Best one I had to get a school bus to school every day and they had a new driver so he asked how to get to the school which was 4 miles away we only took him along the A69 to Hexham 2 hours later we get to school

<o:p></o:p>
 
#19 ·
The last xmas I was at school (98) the chef south park song chocolate salty balls was out. We were in IT with a supply teacher and all messing about basically. This one lad was on the only computer with speakers and kept playing this wav file (just before MP3s were out lol) and turning the speakers up, kept just being bits of the song nothing rude or ought. Teacher kept turning round, looking at everyone, silence. Then you heard this.....

'Stick em in your mouth and suck em'' lol. She then threw this guy out of the lesson. Was really funny, you had to be there to really appreciate how funny it was in a totally silent room.
 
#20 ·
Some of those are really funny!! Its threads like this that make us ex dubbers stick around, good idea Jace[Y]

My story happened at college. The College I went to used to be a hospital, there were very few windows. The doors to the classrooms didn't have any windows either. The only windows were above the doors (I hadn't noticed them until this happened).

I was in class when I notice the door slowly open, as it opened we could see this guy doing a chin up to the glass above the door! He promptly dropped down and ran off!![:$]

LOL - rather than open the door ajar and have a peek inside to see if its his class, he thought he'd chin up and look through the glass above the door. He inadvertently kicked the door open whilst doing his chin up.
 
#21 ·
Some really funny stories there!

A few years back we had a Geography class with a really old woman so technology wasn't her strong point. Anyway one day she decided the class was to watch this amazingly boring video on rock formations. Her mistake was telling us the week before that this would be happening, so this week come video time my mate and I arrived armed with Infra-Red jammers [:D] Well she put the video in and pressed fast forward to get it to the right point in the tape, at that point we jammed it so she lost control and the VCR went screaming to the end of the tape. We stopped jamming, and after she hit the remote a few times she pressed rewind. Jammer on. Back to the start of the tape. Well this went on for a good ten minutes with half the class being as confused as her. Eventually she phoned for the head technician to come and look at it. Several packs of batteries and 20 minutes later we stopped jamming and let her proceed, only by this point she was in such a state of confusion that even when we had turned the jammers off she still couldn't get the thing to work propely [:D]
 
#22 ·
we were once in the technical dept & had a mad teacher for our wood & metal work class, we always hid the whole classes projects so we didn't have to do any work, took the guy ages to figure out what was going on.

Another teacher we had for geography was completly bonkers, this guy in my class kept putting pins on his seat, glueing his seat etc etc, but once the teacher found out who it was one day he went down the isle of desks throwing them out of the way & grabbed the guy out into the hall & slammed the door, well when the door closed a huge crack appeared up the wall & all we could hear was the teacher screaming. this same teacher used to keep selotape, staplers & other random things on his desk to throw at misbehaving pupils.... very dangerous when i think about it now but was a great laugh at the time.

One time while in swimming lessons at the academy a girl in our class turned up with a pure white swim suit which was fine until she got wet, needless to say you could see everything.... lol she never lived that down.
 
#23 ·
When in 5th/6th year you were allowed to run the social area tuck shop, never bothered myself as it was more fun to climb up through the roof & into the tuck shop then open the sliding doors & feed your mates for free before closing it up again.   don't think they ever realised where the missing stock went ....   yum yum
 
#24 ·
Haha, that reminds me of something we pulled on a teacher once. When he walked in the classroom my mate was standing by the third storey window with a pair of shoes in his hands and trousers attatched to the shoes and hanging out the window. He made it look like he was trying to stop someone from falling out the window and when the teacher started walking over he let go. There was another guy lying on the floor outside the window and when the teacher saw him lying there motionless he started crying!! Cruel I know, but soooooo funny!
This story just made me crease up hahaha as cruel as it is i would of loved to be there..

One or two of my own now..

Well when i was in yr 10 so probs around 14 myself aswell we had an R.E. teacher who was miss ricketts.. anyways every lesson we would always love winding her up as she was mid 20's but one of those hippy types.. that what ever you said to her she would just take it on the chin and not retaliate.. so every lesson we tried windin her up.. one time we locked her out of her own class room.. this was the most funniest prank ever played.. basically one of our mates was sitting near the entrance of the room and we had a lil plan made as when i nodded my head he would knock the door as if somebody was there.. so one day i nodded my head at him repeatedly which in turn he kept knocking the door... now miss ricketts is lookin at the door like hmm someone's there lol.. so she goes to the door and opens it and no-ones there suprise suprise when she starts teaching again i nod my head and my mate knocks the door again and i say miss someones playin knock door run with you.. are you going to take that.. she sorta went all serious and stormed out of the room and raising her voice in the corridor sayin "who's knocking my door" now this is where the funny bit was lol we knew where she kept her keys for her room so as soon as she had left we grabbed the key and locked her out of her own room haha.. and then she was banging on the door LET ME IN YOU KIDS this was the first time we actually achieved to piss her off so everybody in the class was pissing themselves laughing.. about a minute later shes stopped banging so we thought uh-oh shes gone to get the old bag mrs squires bloody fruit loop this woman was haha so we unlocked the door and put the keys back to where they were and left the door open.. the two of them came storming in to the classroom and everyone was working and as soon as they started shouting we all kept our straight and serious faces [:|] as in wtf is going on here haha..

I've got lots of funny school storys as these were probably some of the best times of my childhood.. saying that.. this was when i was 14 only 5 yrs ago [:eek:] [:p]

Sat [y]
 
#25 ·
This one might take a while, but I hope it's worth it...

I was taking my A levels and one of them was Biology.. well one Friday morning (which was a free period for me) I heard that the school rabbit had died (HUGE white fecker). So I wandered into the Biolog lab (bit of a swotty type back then.. sorry) to see whether this was true.

It was, there was this massive dead bunny laid out and the Biology teacher (with lab assistant) wondering what to do with it. Mr swot here asks if I can do an autopsy on it so I could try and find out what had happened (it did look a bit 'odd') and get a chance to dissect a freshly dead animal. All the rats and the like I had done before were just minging.

Well, he agreed. Packs me off into the back lab to start dissecting the rabbit. I get all pinned out and get ready to cut into the abdomen.

By this time it was morning break - I heard the bells go off, but I was free until after lunch so I kept on at the dead rabbit.

The thing is... well... a couple of first year girls used to look after Mrs Bunny and they came up at morning break to feed her. (not knowing she was dead...) They go into the Bio lab and ask where she is, and not thinking, the lab assistant said "Oh, in the back lab with one of the 6th years".

So they go toddling off to the back lab and open the door.

At this point, I've got the bunny pinned out, have the scalpel in my hand and make the first cut. I immediately find out what killed Mrs Bunny. Internal bleeding. The sodding thing just... exploded... in my face. I was literally dripping bunny blood and my white shirt was basically totally red and I could barely see.

The two girls of course walked in right as I did this and all they saw was this maddened 6th year stabbing the bunny rabbit to death, waving this bloody scalpel around and getting covered in its blood.

There I am dripping, and blinded with blood and there are these two almighty piercing screams. Scared the living sh*t out of me and I jumped a flaming mile. Staggered a bit, wiped the blood from my eyes just as these two girls fainted dead at the door and the biology teacher came tearing into the room wanting to know what the hell was going on.

I tell you what I NEVER got any trouble from the first years when I was on prefect duty!

(oh the rabbit was pregnant and one of the kittens had a claw which cut the womb / intestines and that's what caused the bleeding...)
 
#26 ·
What a good thread - it has me thinking about so many stories...

For me, one of the best I have has to involve our RE teacher. RE - widely thought of as the most pointless lessons (and ones in which we could waste most time) in our school. This was in the mid-90's - we were set down over a number of 45 minute lessons to watch Ghandi. For the first lesson we watched the video - it was an ok respite from being talked at, and having to take notes.

By the second and third lessons, we were mostly pretty bored stupid. On one of the following lessons, the teacher was a bit late. In this time waiting, one of my friends at the time decided to demonstrate the awesome power of his new digital casio watch, which doubled as a remote control device (with learning capability). This thing was proper [H]

As we were bored waiting, he took the VCR & TV remote from the set at the front of the room, and duly stored the frequencies in his watch, and set the remotes back where they were. We then carried on chatting as we waited. Eventually our timid RE teacher turned up - flustered and embarrassed at being late, and set about playing the next installment of Ghandi.

We were probably 5 minutes into the video, and seeing my mate sat there with his arms crossed, 'subtley' directing his watch at the tv was hilarious. The video kept skipping, volume getting louder, video stopping, tv/vcr turning off, etc. The poor woman had no idea what was happening! Eventually after 10 minutes of this, with most of the class sniggering & trying to surpress our laughter at her confusion, she left the room to get the caretaker, who could find nothing wrong with the set and must have thought she was absolutely crackers!!

So childish, so evil, but just sooo funny at the time!
 
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